I Am… And I Breathe

by M.P.

I came across this blog and read the blog entries with tears streaming down my face. I sat on my bed, head deep in my hands that the world around me just disappeared. A sense of failure covered me and I became increasingly depressed. I realized how weak I have been and not to mention pathetic. I don’t want to compare myself to Ryan because we are two completely individuals from different backgrounds. Yet, I found myself doing exactly just that. He came out to his deeply religious parents at twelve and I ran away from my parents instead of being honest to them. How pathetic am I? Running away from parents who don’t have the same fears as Ryan’s parents had; parents who have been nothing but supportive and loving. I don’t know. I don’t know what to do. All I know is that I’m not ready to come out. Maybe accepting I’m gay is enough for now. I have learned something important from that blog, something I would forever thank them for. I still don’t have the strength to apply what I have learned but I know someday I would. I would live a life without fear, without reservations, and it would be filled with smiles and laughter. Wherever Ryan is, I’m sure he’s enjoying the endless possibilities he never had a chance to experience in this world. He’s looking at his parents with only love in his eyes, thankful he had the courage to be himself, to have felt their boundless love. I don’t know you but I hope you know that through your life and death you have taught me a valuable lesson: courage in the midst of uncertainties.Thank you.

Read part of their story at Huffington Post.